Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
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hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
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You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.