So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.