Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
