that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
