first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
