video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
