so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
