I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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