And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
