what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
