I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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