So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
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Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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