I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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