I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
