Christians are straight up FREAKS
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
