He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
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Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
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Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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