You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
