my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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