Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
