I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
