She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
