Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
