I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize