And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
