I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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