New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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