So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
