I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
