How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
only you would photoshop your dick
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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