I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize