i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
you're hired as official boob wrangler
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
