So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
