fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
