one might say we're banned from that church
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize