I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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