I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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