We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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