Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
