when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize