"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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