I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
