Dual....:-)
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
