I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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