U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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