I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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