I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
