i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
