areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
