So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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