Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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