Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
