Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just gift wrapped bread.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How's work?
Spinning.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
