those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
