it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
