Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
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Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize