Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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