I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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