I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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