Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
