Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
