Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
