just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
These tits shall not be calmed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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