My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
