The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize