I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
