Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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