he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
